|
Ways to Improve Self-Esteem for Children
- written by Helen Williams, a family counsellor and parent educator from New Zealand
Child Self-Esteem
Sure, praise your children and tell them you are proud, both of them
and for
them.
However, children learn best when they know it for themselves by their
own experience.
Boosting self esteem by telling them they are great kids is
no substitute for gaining this knowledge through their own
Teach Them HOW Rather Than Doing it For Them
Think about this saying in relation to boosting self esteem in children
Give a
man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach
a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. |
Give your children the opportunities to improve self esteem by
experiencing pride in their own achievements and by gaining mastery of new
skills.
-
Confidence comes about through experience - Experience comes about by doing it yourself.
Don't do it for them - step back and allow your children the opportunities to get the experience for themselves.
-
Encourage them to make a commitment to a new project.
-
Allow them the time they need to see it through.
-
Make it possible for them to learn to master their bodies
through physical accomplishment by participation in sports, games,
music and dance.
-
Be an encourager of involvement in sporting activities. Be there on the
side line watching and cheering them on.
-
Give them every opportunity for responsibility at home so they learn to
be responsible at school.
-
Encourage situations that allow them to practice generosity, to
apologize, to be forgiving, to share.
HOWEVER..............in creating these wonderful
opportunities for your children you must also allow them to experience
disappointment when it occurs, to make mistakes, to confront problems,
and to experience failure.
If you don't, you are feeding them fish for a day rather than setting them up as fishermen for a lifetime.
As parents we want to protect our children from all life's pain and
discomfort, however, no matter how much we try, it is an impossible task.
If we carefully monitor our child's activities and
achievements, and pay attention to whatever unfolds in their daily
lives, we will be able to provide our children with great opportunities
for emotional growth and understanding through life's knocks and shocks.
This is how resilience is built.
Encourage Risk Taking in Your Children
Experience has taught me that there is no need to set up these
moments. Rather, life itself takes care of that.
As a parent, your task is not to quickly step in and rescue your child when you see
disappointment or failure looming.
Instead be your child's emotional boundary at that moment.
Be strongly there for them. Help them
take stock of the
situation.Encourage them to name and find some
understanding about the feeling.
Help them to talk about their feelings around
the disappointment of
failure.
Be aware of modelling this behaviour for your
children.
Always be aware of your child's age and stage of development.
Always pay attention to their emotional limitations and monitor your
response for appropriateness.
Have the courage to be a brave parent and an enabler of your child's
growth through these ways to improve self esteem for your child.
 Ways to Improve Self Esteem
Get into the habit of telling your children:
I noticed today that you were easily on time.
I noticed how thoughtful you were.
I saw you really thinking carefully.
Reinforce their self esteem by noticing, by
consideration, and by listening.
Bedtime is a wonderful opportunity to observe ways to improve self
esteem. Before your children go off to sleep talk about the day
together.
Let them know that you observe, respect and consider them.
Help them to reach upwards towards their best potential by giving them
opportunities for practice.
Don't Do it For Them!
About the Author:
Helen Williams is a family counsellor and parent educator from New Zealand currently living in Dubai, UAE, where she runs a busy practice called Counselling Dubai. As well as counselling clients, Helen runs regular Consistent Parenting and Becoming Authentic workshops. Helen has four children and is a proud grandmother and believes that being a consistent parent is both vitally important and totally necessary to ensure a happy family life. However, becoming a consistent parent is rather like trying to push water uphill if we are not consistent within our selves. Consistent Parenting Advice addresses HOW to adopt a firm, clear, consistent parenting approach, while enabling parents to enhance and increase their emotional well-being and become consistent themselves.
|
